From One Year to the Next

Happy New Year!

From our New Year's celebration 2011. It's good to live in this state.

It really hasn't hit me that another year has come and gone. My time measurement has been off since I stopped working full-time. As in every day is a blur and I'd be just as surprised to learn that it is, in fact, Wednesday as it is 2014.

Anyway. I hope you had a fun and safe sendoff for 2013. I did a little reflecting (before falling asleep at 11:30--shameful, I know). 2013 was a year of change, for sure, but then, is there a year where things don't change? I haven't met one of those yet, and I'm not sure I would want to. Good or bad, change means things are moving forward. Even when we can't see the pieces falling together, things are shifting and arranging themselves in our lives to create a change. To that end, I want to explain why I hate resolutions.

Resolution. Meaning: firm decision to do or not to do something. In 28 years (gulp), here's what I've come to learn about being firm about a decision. Be prepared to change your mind. Things rarely go the way you would expect or plan them to happen. Unforseen events, new people, tragedies, windfalls, and interruptions arise in the middle of a plan. Some people focus on those disruptions and get stuck. And that is unfortunate.

Maybe you can tell by the setup of the blog. Or by its title. Or by the description. Or by the posts. But, I am all about transition. That includes transitioning my plans to fit the situation. I am, by no means, all-knowing. Despite what I may try to convince my husband. I can't predict the future, and I definitely have absolutely no idea what God has planned. If anyone does, please give me a call. I have questions. 

So, I don't believe in making resolutions because I know it will only set me up to feel as though I've failed myself when I don't meet some or all of the plans. Even though it's just life. I choose to not shoulder that kind of responsibility. Instead, I take a quick rearview glance at the previous year(s) and then think about where I am in life. And then I think about the things that I hope for. I don't even limit my hopes to the coming year. I take what I've learned, what I've gained and lost, and what I missed and open my mind and heart for the things I hope for in my life. 

This doesn't mean that I make wishes on stars. I know that those things I want for my life will all require effort, work, and commitment. But I also know I won't be in control, and I know if it's not a part of the Almighty's plan for my life, it probably won't work the way I think it should. Instead of making a list of resolutions (aka certainties I must achieve), I open my eyes for possibilities of what I want in my life. I also open my mind to the idea that new things may come along for me that I will never even know to hope for or expect. 

Here's the bottom line: this sort of free-falling isn't for everyone. There are personalities that hold firmly to the adage "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail," and they would call this a planning fail. For me, though, it is planning. It's planning to take risks, to know what I want and ask for it, to reach for things but be okay if it doesn't happen. It's planning for a person who absolutely hates strict diets, restrictions, deadlines, permanent endings, and, oh yeah, absolutes.

Here's what I hope for myself for 2014::

• I hope to spend less of my day stressing over getting things done despite a crazy toddler and more time with my crazy toddler.
• I hope to hike in the mountains in the fall. I've missed the color for a couple of years now.
• I hope to read more books and watch less TV. Maybe I should put the books on the TV screen...
• I hope to get back to some grown up stuff. Some work, some friend time, some hobbies. Maybe even some music that doesn't talk about marching ants, picnicking teddy bears, or twinkling stars.
• I hope to shore up my wardrobe. Actually, I'm not sure I used that term correctly. So I hope to learn that term and align my wardrobe with my current style (as opposed to the things I still have from college/pre-baby years). 
• I hope to learn more about my camera and take more photos.
• I hope to find a forever-ish house. At least one that I can envision growing into and loving.
• I hope to be an inspiration, even if only for Hayley, and set an example of a life well-led.  

And, I'll leave you with this::

Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.

--Oprah Winfrey

From My Favorite Tunes to Yours

Gosh, Christmas Eve is a week from today. How is that even possible? The good news is I'm nearly ready, though I have several post office trips to make this week. And a few last minute goodies (aren't there always last minute errands?) to grab, including one stop actually on Christmas Eve. Yikes. Fingers crossed Hayley will cooperate...

In the meantime, I thought a few fun, festive posts would be a good change from the serious and the stress. So, I'm sharing one of my sanity-saving secrets for the holidays: feel-good tunes. I love Christmas music. I'm always ready to give it up by Christmas, since we listen to it nonstop. But, it's also bittersweet to know I won't hear it again until after Thanksgiving. So here is a list of my favorites. You know, those songs that I crave and can't help but sing along to while decorating, wrapping, or recovering from the store crowd battles. Pipe in with some of yours. Happy Howling!
 

Thanks to Scribbles from Emily for free image

• Christmas in Dixie :: Alabama
• Tender Tennessee Christmas :: oddly, also Alabama
• All I Want for Christmas :: Mariah Carey
• Miss You Most at Christmas Time :: Mariah Carey (she might be one of my fave holiday singers)
• Baby, It's Cold Outside :: So many good versions (and some not so good) Leon Redbone + Zooey Deschanel (Elf) is great, and you can't go wrong with the classic Dean Martin
• It's a Marshmallow World :: Dean Martin
• Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) :: Mariah Carey (told you)
• A New York Christmas :: Rob Thomas
• O Holy Night :: As long as a person can sing, it's hard to find a bad version. Here's a poll on this http://popwatch.ew.com/2013/12/14/o-holy-night-best-version-christmas/
• Merry Christmas, Baby :: Ray Charles
• That Spirit of Christmas (featured in Christmas Vacation) :: Ray Charles
• Grown Up Christmas List :: I like Amy Grant's & Kelly Clarkson's versions
• Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays :: N Sync (don't judge)
• I'll Be Home for Christmas :: Oodles of versions, but Bing is original
• Someday at Christmas :: Stevie had the original, but Jackson 5 also did it justice. Justin Bieber can stop ruining Christmas songs anytime.

I love so many other songs during the season, but these are the ones I long for in July and can't stop singing between Thanksgiving and Christmas. If Graham hears All I Want for Christmas, or sees me watching Love Actually, one more time, he might hand me divorce papers for Christmas. I'm kidding (I hope).

As a special bonus, here's an oddball song you might not know. It's quirky, fun, and will absolutely invade your brain (and a funny video parody): Dominic, the Christmas Donkey. You're welcome.

Merry Christmas singing!

From Stressful to Joyful

Maybe it's the holidays (the most wonderful-ly stressful time of the year) or maybe it's just the anticipation of the coming new year. Perhaps it's just life, and I've simply taken more notice. In any case, anxiety seems to be all around me lately. Worry over events yet to happen in my own life. Concerns from friends over relationships and futures. Family struggles with new and ongoing issues. Even Sadie, our ever-happy 9 year old pup, seems to have some stress. (That may be from her recent experience that led to the cone of shame...sap in the fur.)

It, all of it, can feel overwhelming. It can feel hopeless. And it can certainly feel never-ending. But that's where hope can come in because the stress, the situation, the pain, the fears, the anxiety...it all does change, stop, or take a break. Hanging on until that happens, though, can be tough.

It seems we all have grateful and blessed hearts at Thanksgiving. We see the daily posts of things people are thankful for. Then Black Friday comes, and the magic spirit from the day before seems to quickly fade to...well, black. Stress kicks into high gear. The holiday season, which should be a source of joy and goodwill, is widely acknowledged as the peak of depression and anxiety. Maybe we need to continue our thankful posts through the holiday season. Maybe we need to reread what we wrote. Or maybe we just need a shift in perspective.

I had a dear friend recently give birth to a handsome little man. Her pregnancy and delivery served as a great reminder to me of the emotions I went through just over a year ago. The overpowering worry that plagued me on and off throughout pregnancy disappeared when I got to hold my little girl. Gratitude washed away all concern. Until we got home, and then the late night feedings reignited my Googling and, subsequently, my anxiety. The things that once seemed dire were no longer a part of my life, but their rapid exit left space for new concerns to set up shop. Being a new mom was such a duality of feelings: joy and helplessness. And perhaps that is what happens during this season. What got me through those early challenges is the same thing I've been doing to help myself and others who have been dealing with some discomfort this year: encouragement. Encouragement through listening, kind words, advice when appropriate, displays of love, and prayer. Encouragement to enhance the joy. Because enough joy can start to shine light on the shadows. Perhaps that is why one of the most recited verses of the season is from the angel sent to dispel worry, "Behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy".

So let me encourage any of you who may be experiencing a less than holly-jolly season. Direct your focus and energy on those people and things that enhance your joy. Remove those that remind you of the stress or the anxiety. In the immortal words of Clark W. Griswold, "I hope it enhances your holiday spirit". Whatever "it" may be for you.