From Master's Student to Graduate (or From Undergrad Debt to Master's Debt)

Since I mentioned last year (gulp) that I was completing my master's thesis, I thought I'd put together a summary/update/what-the-heck-ever post to tell you a little more about that experience.

In my head (sometimes a scary place, btw), I envisioned a master's education to feel/look like this:

Inquisitive Minds of a Graduate Class (such as Harvard Law). 

In reality (a sometimes even scarier place), it felt and looked a bit more like this:

Monkeys Sitting in a Room Four Hours a Week. And Writing Papers. And Discussing Parts of a Sentence.

Sad, but also, sadly, a bit true. By obligation of the mountain of student debt I now posses, I am required to say I am glad I went. And, truly, I am. Because despite the best efforts of a few misguided professors, a chaotic, in-flux school leadership team, a couple of obstinate classmates, Grammarly, Agile systems, and pregnancy brain, I did learn a few things. And because I am generous and like imparting wisdom, I will share some of what I learned with you. Free of charge. That's a $20k value. You are welcome.

Things I now know, courtesy of/because of/in spite of a master's education:

1. I hate Agile systems.
2. I also hate Grammarly. And, for the record, Microsoft is not always correct when a program suggests changes in text. Please use common sense.
3. Common sense has gone the way of dinosaurs. Or maybe, like unicorns, it just never existed. A figment of the collective imagination.
4. Sometimes you learn far more by talking to and observing those around you than by idly doodling while a professor talks at you. Good and bad, you really can gain knowledge through your surroundings.
5. Depending on the professor, you may also learn more by playing Words with Friends. Unless you cheat. Don't cheat. It's just a game. A game I must always win (ahem, Niki).
6. It is possible to conduct research, write, edit, assemble a presentation, and present a thesis in a period of four weeks. It's just not fun. But, procrastinators can rejoice. Later.
7. Professors aren't perfect. They're people with people flaws. So if a professor doesn't like you because all the young people are stealing their spouse's jobs (and you have been lumped into the young people group)...well, that professor may hold a grudge. Probably nothing to be done about it except try to be better to others than others are to you. And, find out what job was stolen. Maybe it's a good one that you should go after. Hey, it's a dog-eat-dog employment market. Especially for young people. (No dogs were harmed in the composition of this post).
8. Some professors are good. They will go above and beyond the expectations of the class, the program, the school, and maybe even you. Cherish those professors like the last box of Hostess Twinkies. Unlike Twinkies, they won't be around in 100 years.
9. You can never count an opportunity to learn, in whatever form that learning comes, as a waste of time. Stop learning and you stop growing. You might even regress to one the monkeys in the classroom pictured above.
10. I absolutely am grateful for the experience and treasure the connections I made with two fantastic women that I can call role models, leaders, peers, and friends. Hey, we even started a blog. Oops, speaking of said blog, I am pretty sure it's my turn to post. Maybe I could just "repurpose" this post... Unfortunately, I think they may have paid attention to the part of the program about self-plagiarism. 

My Take 3 Ladies. We're Wearing Our Most Expensive Outfits.

Bottom Line: Leadership is an under-valued and under-taught skill. I am glad I have a piece of paper that says I attempted to learn more about it and how to do it better. Even if it is the most expensive piece of paper I own. Except, perhaps, my marriage certificate or my daughter's birth certificate.

From Mentally Blogging to Actually Blogging

Hello out there! I have apparently remained true to my procrastinating self. Exhibit A: my last post (see here) is from nearly a year ago. It's the one that talked about resolutions and procrastinating. Yeah.

Okay, here's the thing. I have blogged entire posts in my head at least twice weekly during that year. So, where are they? Unfortunately, much like the road crews in Charlotte, they ran out of resources to actually make an appearance in the real world. Until now...

Hayley Quinn. You'll see much more of her later, I'm sure.

Enter my precious babe (Hayley--much more on her later). I have decided I just don't have enough to do, and I get way too much sleep so I should start blogging again. (Would you care for another helping of sarcasm?) Really, though, this time. I actually wrote down a list of topics for the posts I already have in my head. Now, I just need to navigate through my mental ball of string and manage the mommy brain syndrome long enough to put them in writing.

Some of my topics are totally offbeat and shallow, but I have plans to expose some personal experiences (some a bit raw and painful) as well. So if you find yourself with nothing better to do on a Monday morning while staring idly at a pile of work or bored in Friday's afternoon traffic, be sure to check back. I'll be here. Writing away. Or changing a diaper. Maybe both. For your sake, I'll try to spare you the details of the latter.

Must go...hear the sweetest sound ever. My Keurig finishing its cycle. For the third time today. I hear they need the business.

The One With All the Resolutions

If you were (or still are) obsessed with Friends, you may recognize the title.  It's a great episode which depicts the fragility of our New Year's resolutions.  Here's the one which spoke to me, however:

Setup: Rachel tries to make a resolution which will prove to be very challenging.  Monica reminds her of a previous failed resolution by grabbing her diary and reading:

Dear Diary, I am so excited. My resolution is to write in you every day. I'll see you tomorrow. 

(Fans the pages of Rachel's diary) Nothing!

I can relate. (Note the date of my previous blog entry).  Of course, I have some great reasons for procrastinating.  I have been juggling the school/work balance (side note, 3 nights of class left!!!) and, on a more exciting note, have been navigating the first 15 weeks of my first pregnancy.  Nonetheless, this scene reminds me that I too have failed to follow through on something which has significance for me.  

So why now?  Well, I am staring down the barrel of a three-day lock-down weekend where I do nothing but finish my master's thesis paper and presentation.  And, as I have mentioned, I am a procrastinator.  I have realized however, I tend to procrastinate with reason.  I am putting the paper off tonight so I can freewrite and play word games.  I convince myself this will help open my mind for serious writing tomorrow.  I put off work projects because I feel I work better under a deadline.  And, I put off writing a blog post because I slept most of my first trimester.  Reasons, maybe, but I'm sure this is likely personal justification to help me deal with this flaw on a daily basis.  

Those who don't understand the mind of a procrastinator may believe the things which are put on the back burner are less important.  For me, anyway, this is false.  I love writing and would love to be more up-to-date on my blogs, my baby journal, and other projects.  I love baking and have pinned tons of recipes I want to attempt (by the way, Pinterest is not healthy for procrastinators--more later).  I love reading and have an entire bookshelf full of books I want to read (and that doesn't include the books on my Kindle).  

I hope there are others who understand this disease.  I'd love to hear any remedies or tricks you've found to better manage your energies and focus.  Of course, I suspect most of the people who understand this post will never get around to commenting...

Thankful for Procrastination

As Facebook is the primary news source for most of us, it may appear to those in my friend list that I am an ungrateful person since I have failed to jump on the bandwagon of posting one thankful thing a day in November. That's not the case; I'm just a habitual procrastinator. Or, I'm a genius. Because I can now post all 24 items the eve before the day the nation takes time to remember all of the blessings it has. Hokey as some may see it, we truly are all blessed day in and day out. Sometimes blessings are cloaked in crisis or sadness, but there always seems to be a bigger picture. I call that God. Some call it Fate. Others may call it karma.  Whatever the name, let us relish in all the things that do and don't happen to make our lives what they are.  That said, I am thankful for:

1. my faith in someone so much wiser than I. It's such a comfort to feel I am not entirely in control all the time. I have little patience and am often guilty of being shortsighted. Thankfully, God has my back.
2. my perfectly imperfect husband. He may not love that description, but it actually depicts the kind of person I want to love. Someone who is not so perfect I feel inadequate, but someone who is awesome enough to help me improve. Also, he's an amazing cook. That comes in handy (though my pants may disagree). 
3. my family members. Yes, all of them. Good or bad, they have influenced me to become the person I am. And, while there are some loose screws, I have some amazing people. You may see some of them reappear later on in the list.
4. my friends. I am talking about the true-blue kind. The ones that know almost everything there is to know about me and still tolerate, and in fact love, me. I keep only a few people who I can bare my soul to, and I certainly pity, errr...am grateful for, them.
5. my mom. It's necessary to list her separately because she fills both the family and friend category. Truly an inspiration in my life and one of my dearest friends and role models. So blessed.
6. my pets. Tigger and I have had some long, intimate conversations. She's a good listener (for a cat). Skitzy gives me some entertainment and is helping me build patience for children. Sadie is just the best dog on the planet. Period.
7. the Internet. It had to make my top ten because I spend so much time working, surfing, pinning (shout out to the Pinteresters!), researching, deal seeking, uploading, downloading, and time wasting on it. What would I do without it? Read a book, re-learn to sew, polish my cooking skills, clean the house...hmmm.
8. my job. I am glad to be employed in any situation but especially so in a "recovering" economy. And, it helps to love my job a majority of the time. 
9. to almost be done with my master's. It will be number one on next year's list. And, probably on Graham's. Trust me.
10. peppermint mochas. Okay, Starbucks. Okay, coffee in general. But, peppermint mochas are pretty great.
11. a roof over my head. At this point, I'm not prioritizing the list so please don't judge that my dwelling didn't make the top ten. It takes a lot of my resources, so it's a love/hate relationship. But, I am thankful to have shelter from the elements and a place to call home.
12. sarcasm. It's a healthy way to express feelings and spur discussion. Jon Stewart is a master; I am honored to share in the craft.
13. music. It calms me. Energizes me. Angers me. Saddens me. Makes me happy. Takes me into my own world. I wish I could sing or play an instrument. I will just have to live vicariously through offspring. Definitely learning the mandolin, kids!
14. wine. Do I really need to explain?
15. North Carolina. This place saved my life. I love the state, and without bias, I am pretty sure it is the best state in the nation. Although I hear Chicago may be applying for statehood.
16. the mountains. I never understood spiritual connections to place until I spent time hiking in and staring at the majesty of the Blue Ridge. There is true healing in the mountains beyond any I have found.
17. books. I love a good story. I can become a part of it, get lost in it, and relive it. A truly good story can expand the possibilities of reality.
18. speaking of...possibility. I love that every day holds a fresh start, and that we have been given the opportunity to choose to make mistakes. Of course, we can choose to make good decisions, but in the grand scheme, the mistakes tend to be the choice we make. As long as we learn and move on...
19. autumn. Crisp air, cool breezes, magnificent colors, cozy smells, candles, fires, leaf piles, Thanksgiving, Halloween...fall has it all.
20. sales. I hate paying full price for things. Sales are a great way to feel a sense of accomplishment. Without caution, however, they can also strain the wallet. But, it's a good deal!!!
21. showers. I can't imagine a world without bathing, and I admire those who went weeks without bathing in the Dark Ages. I'm not sure disease was the cause of death for all of them...it could have just been depression that a nice warm shower would have cured. I just know I always feel better after a steamy shower. 
22. chocolate. I love it. That's why it usually makes my bio in online profiles, and it's probably why it dominates about 10% of my conversations. I love baking, but I'm not sure if it's only because that means I can use more chocolate.
23. creativity. Pinterest (oh gosh, it made the list twice). I love ideas and love being inspired. Even if I'm not the one using the creative energy, it's so wonderful to be surrounded by it. 
24. procrastination. Sometimes the best things come from waiting. It can be stressful, but I have found in my years as a procrastinator that it also has the ability to inspire. And, procrastination gave me the gift of composing this list and thinking of all the wonderful blessing I enjoy in life. 

May you be blessed with a wonderful Thanksgiving!