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From Blink to Blink

"They grow up so fast."

Before you're a parent, it's just common rhetoric. When you first become a parent, the bleary-eyed days and the endless nights seem to contradict the words everyone says to you. Then, suddenly, you're the parent of a toddler, a kindergartner, or a teenager, and you realize those people were on to something. Because suddenly, you realize you are raising a person. Not just a baby. A full-blown, pint-sized, personality-saturated person. For me, it has been both the most terrifying and awe-inspiring moment of my parental career.

They start so small, so helpless, so dependent. Everything in their lives is passive. They wait for you to hold them. Change them. Feed them. Rock them. Soothe them. Entertain them. (Of course, they wail to let you know when you're failing and smile/coo to let you know there's still hope for you to succeed yet.) But, they don't show you what hurts, express complicated emotions, engage in two-way play, and they absolutely don't tell you what they're thinking. Until the day they do.

I had heard talking was an overnight process. (Yeah right, this is coming from the same morons who told me blinking would make them grow.) So...it turns out (once again) they sure know what they're talking about. Sure, Hayley had a few words here and there (go figure most of her first words were food-centric), and she's been assigning and demonstrating animal sounds for months. But one day it just...clicked. And ever since then, she is adding words daily to her vocabulary.

You might say her vocabulary is really "taking off".     :)

 As an exercise in curiosity, I thought I'd compile a list of her words. It took me longer than I thought (mainly because it's hard to sit down and compartmentalize everything you hear in a day). So over the course of a week, I made the two lists below. And, I have to add to it every single day.

To be fair, I did include a column for animal sounds. But, still. Where did this come from?? I can't really pick a favorite, but her phrases and recognition astonish me. Also, she is willing to try most any word, so one of our favorite bath/car games is "Can you say...?". I might get slightly more enjoyment out of it...

Making these lists also made me realize how much she will change between now and 2 (only six short months away, if that is even possible). She certainly has her tough moments, as does every toddler, but she is also amazing, if only in my eyes. I can't wait to see more pieces of her personality come through. We know she is VERY active, quite the entertainer, loves making jokes, adores the center of attention, hungers for outdoor adventure, devours everything in sight (speaking of hunger), and is smitten with books. I can see so much of both of us in her, but I can also spot the ways she is becoming her own person.

What a thrilling blessing it is to be a parent and witness it all firsthand. It's the little things, every little day, that truly make you want to stop blinking, even for just a moment, to take it all in.

Little Things Link-Up via here and here

From Race to Regiment

A total detour from my other posts.

Skincare.

Why? I've joined up with The Little Things link-up {hosted by Jess and Ashley}. The goal of the link-up is to celebrate the little things in life. It's a fun challenge to not be repetitive with the celebrations. And, this week, I've been grateful for growing up a bit in the area of skin care.

I was one of those lucky skin people who never got massive break outs. I had smallish pores, very few problems with oily or dry skin, and a general consistency with my face. Sure, my skin was sensitive and pale, but with a little common sense and self-tanner, even those issues were minor.

Then I had a kid.

I'm a little embarrassed to admit this, but until a few months ago, my basic skin care routine was:
-- wash face
-- dab of some moisturizer {usually whatever I got cheaply}
-- apply makeup
-- wash face at night {sometimes with facial soap}.

Yikes. That probably should have ended with my high school days, but it worked so I saw no need to change it. Pregnancy convinced me otherwise. Suddenly, my skin was a ricochet of dry to oily. I had weird textures pop up. I had breakouts. I had extra-sensitive skin. And, I started noticing the wrinkles popping up, especially on my forehead and eyes.

I knew I needed a change, but none of the bloggers I followed {my #1 source for everyday life news} really had skin issues I related to. Until I was inspired by this post.

I took a few elements from that, a few from other reviews/posts, and a few from things I wanted to try. So here's what I came up with:

Day:
Cleanse with facial soap {currently using the remaining supply of Clinique but may switch this up}
Apply toner {Thayers alcohol-free Rose Petal w/ witch hazel & organic aloe}
Moisturize {Boots no7 Protect & Perfect Day Cream with SPF 15}
Makeup
Try to drink extra water. This is a biggie for me. I'm terrible at it.

Night:
Cleanse with organic coconut oil {it removes makeup!!} and facial soap every other time/oily days
Apply toner
Moisturize {Yes to Carrots Intense Hydration Night Cream}
Eye serum {Oil of Olay Regenerist Eye Lifting Serum}

It's been just under a week in my new routine, and I really notice a difference in my skin's color, feel, and moisture. The most surprising {and important} feature is the small amount of time it takes to do all this. I actually can get some of it done while using my Sonicare. If you have at least one kid, you know how valuable every minute of the day is. Which is why I think I hesitated to give up any more time to a "beauty" routine. Until I realized it's more about skin health, and beauty is just a by-product. Also, this is a good way to get some "me" time in, which is pretty hard to come by some days.

Oh, and in case you're curious, here is Hayley's skincare routine:

So, this week I'm recognizing these little things, the changes in my attitude and regiment, that have made a big impact.

From 28 to 29

I'm always amazed at how something so routine as a birthday is so powerful as an agent for reflection. I mean, it's just a Wednesday this year. A drizzly, gray sky blanketing half-dead grass and flowerless gardens. It also creates the perfect canvas for introspection.

Perhaps it's because I'm now just under a year from hitting 30, but this birthday feels particularly heavy. If that makes any sense. I am overwhelmed with the need to take inventory and "clean up" the books for the coming year. Which brings me to this post.

Turning 25 was by far my hardest year. No special reason why. Things were great in my life, but I really struggled with it. Like depression struggled. Luckily, my slump somewhat dissipated with a drastic change of scenery during a trip to Sedona with my mom. Moms always know when to sweep you out of the everyday. (I got to go away again this year!) From there, things improved. And, I'm nowhere near that feeling this year (I can't promise that for next year, however). Instead, I feel...grateful.

Sedona circa 2010.

Savannah with my mom 2014

My life still feels so foreign sometimes. I suddenly look around at the tornadic damage in our living room and my grinning toddler and realize it's me on the other side of the picture. The surrealness of everyday life. I'm so blessed to have already had so many experiences in my life, and this is just one more to add to the list. Of course, adding in additional work to this beautiful chaos hasn't been without challenges. But, it is another experience. And another accomplishment, if I do say so myself.


So...gratitude. I'm so blessed to have a support group in my life. Though we may not always see eye-to-eye, I know they're standing with me.

I am lucky to share this chapter of life with a semi-crazy toddler. Even at 3 am, on my birthday. While she's sick. The blessing here is spending the rest of the night sleeping not sleeping and cuddling with someone whose only need for comfort is my presence.

She's even cute sick.

I am glad chocolate exists. Even if it means I made my own birthday cake (cue smallest violin), and I forgot to add the eggs (thanks Mommy Brain), I frosted it with Nutella buttercream and enjoyed a slice with my hubby.

A fudgey, delicious cake. Frosted in Nutella buttercream. And I don't know what happened to the frosting edge...

Speaking of, I am glad to have a partner to go through life with. He may drive me crazy some a lot of the time, he also keeps me sane. And, he keeps food, good food, on our table. Oh, and he made me French toast this morning.

Different kind of cake, but one of my fave pics. From all the way back in 2008.

A final note: while jamming away at the keyboard, pounding out work ahead of a looming deadline, my computer keeps beeping, letting me know someone else has left some love on Facebook for my day. And then my phone chimes in. I'm loved, lucky, and pretty happy with life. Sure, there's a lot looming in the not-to-far future, but if I can stare down the face of 30 and boldly claim to be happy, I know I can tackle the upcoming obstacles this year.

Thanks for indulging me and helping me to celebrate all of life's little moments. Love to you all!

Visit the It's The Little Things link-up hosted by Ashley and Jess!

From Pet to So Much More

It's amazing how selfless pets are, especially considering how selfish us humans can be. We expect from them a constant companion. We confide in them our secrets. We burden them with our sorrow, which they take on as their own. We turn to them for comfort. We drag them through our life changes and ask them to change. We might move them several states away, a few times. We move their homes. We change their routines. We introduce and remove other humans and animals. We take, demand, require, and decide. They give, obey, trust, and adapt.

The bond between us and our pets is like no other. It stands to reason, then, that there is no good way to prepare for a goodbye. No matter how many times you might feel ready. How much you might know it's coming. Or how much you know it's time for them and it's for the best. Selfishly, a part of you always expects they can stay around.

Today, we lost a treasured companion. Tigger was always so much more than a cat. She had an old soul, a spunky personality, and unlike so many other cats I've known, was always available when needed. She loved interacting with everyone and had a purr that rivaled a boat engine. She was the runt of her litter and was left in my uncle's barn as a kitten, deemed unworthy of keeping around by her family. But, I think that's just because she was meant for ours.

We shared our lives with Tigger for 19 years, and she gave her whole 19 to us.

She was in good health until recently, and she went peacefully while with my mom. For that, I am eternally grateful. But, I'm also heartbroken. It's really the only way to feel when you've lost a friend you've had the majority of your life.

For awhile, I questioned the decision I made to send her to my mom's this summer. But, since Hayley was born and Skitzy (our other cat that Tigger was kind enough to tolerate for 8 years) was gone, I knew she wasn't getting the same attention she used to and the attention she still wanted. She actually found a surge of youth being around other animals and my mom. And, she lived out her last several months surrounded by love, attention, and friends. I don't know that she would have stayed as long as she did had she been here.

To Tigger. The one creature who probably knew and remembered more about me than I would ever care to admit. She graciously lived with, throughout her life, six other animals. And, she made friends with all of them. She lived in seven houses. She lived in two different states, twice. She made several long roadtrips over 11 hours. She survived the birth of a new baby and adjusted.

She was a good friend and will be missed.

From Motivation to Inspiration

I suffer from a very serious condition called Domestic Block. It's similar in nature to Writer's Block, but people suffering from DB will often be found staring idly at a wall with a puzzled look on their faces, or clicking away at nothing on their computers, or even wandering their homes looking lost. You see, people with DB forget all the things they need and want to do around the house whenever they have the time to tackle such projects. They may be overwhelmed with a mental task list while chasing kids around, showering, or running errands. But, given the time and freedom, they can think of none of those things they have to do. It's a very aggravating condition.

I make lists. I LOVE lists. Sometimes, though, I try to make a list only to be struck with Domestic Writer's Block, a secondary condition associated with DB. I can't think of what foods I need for the week to make food; I can't think of things to make for dinner; I can't think of the chores around the house I need to do; and I can't think of the projects I've been meaning to attempt. Until naptime is over, or I'm stranded without a phone/pen & paper, or I've fallen asleep for the night. Dangit.

Recently, a friend sent me a helpful link to a premade agenda with tasks lists already filled out for the days of the week, all the way through the year. Wow. I know there are lots of sites and blogs that talk about various things to schedule for yourself to do on a daily/weekly basis, but this one actually has the list completed. And, it's free. Yay! (Sound good? You can find it here.)

I printed out the first month as a trial for myself. Here's what I like about it: I don't need or want to do everything on the pre-assembled list. However, it does inspire me to add tasks I do want to do. And, that's where this post's title comes from. The friend who sent me the link commented that it is helping her stay motivated. I need motivation in lots of areas (hello, working out), but in this area, I really need inspiration more.

For me, Pinterest is a place where I (obviously) pin ridiculous things I will never have/do/try, but it is also a place where I pin things that inspire me to other things. There are a lot of things on my boards I will never use, but there are also a lot of things I do in life I don't pin. It can, of course, be a time waster. There's so much to get lost in. But, I also know that it helps me by providing DIY organization projects that inspire me to think outside of the box (store) and look around for items in my house to repurpose.

Today, after printing the premade agenda for the week, I followed about 5 of the items and then added 7 others. Like clean my Keurig. Reorganize my coffee station (might have come from standing at the Keurig for an hour while I cleaned it). De-static my upholstered ottomans. Dust behind the entertainment stand. Write a blog post. Eat some pretzels and Nutella (side note: why was that not on the to-do list??)

Anyway, doing things I could cross off the "stock" list and then adding and crossing off things I needed/wanted to do made me feel pretty accomplished. Which then motivates me to spend this evening catching up on a few work projects. And, because it's one of the best shows ever made for TV, Parenthood.

So, I guess I really should have called this From Inspiration to Motivation. Except, none of this motivated me to work out today. Especially not the Nutella indulgence.

From Mom Work to Mom + Work

This week, I started a part-time (10ish hrs/wk) job, with the potential for additional hours/responsibilities. The challenge for me is that we aren't sending Hayley to a daycare or parent's morning out program. The morning out program may eventually come to pass, but for now, I am still staying home with her for financial and logistical reasons. Also, she can be pretty fun to hang around with.

The great thing about the new role is the ability to work any hours, from home. That said, I am feeling the challenge of balancing play time, work time, other work (additional side project) time, house duties time, meal time, errand time, and oh yeah, maybe me time. With everything else we have going on (more on this later this week), it is definitely filling my plate. Lucky for me, I love a good challenge.

I posted this article on Facebook this week. It's a fantastic (and quick) read. I encourage you to take a few moments to look at it. But, if you don't, the gist is the author working through "owning" being a mom. Just a mom. Because as progressive as we like to think we are as a society, there is still a stigma around staying home with your kid(s). My good friend, Niki, did her master's thesis on women opting-out of the workplace (taking a break to focus on family). Bug her for a summary of her paper and results...maybe an upcoming post for The Take3??

Anyway, when you do choose to be a parent at home, it is an emotionally taxing decision. As is choosing to work. I don't want to marginalize either choice, so I'm just focusing this post on the choice to stay home. But, both choice deserve equal respect. For me, it was incredibly challenging to find an internal justification for staying home. Even though I worked remotely (mostly from home) for 18 months before Hayley came along, dropping the external work role felt...awkward. Almost wrong. I kept a side work project as a contractor, partly to give my mind a reason to stay sharp in the working world, and partly to feel like I was still contributing, both to the workforce and to the household income.

The thing is, I was trying to justify a decision we made. I know I don't watch TV, binge on junk food, and shop all day. My family knows it. My mommy friends know it. But, I still felt the need to justify what I was doing, if only for myself. The article really speaks to me in needing to completely dedicate myself to my mommy role. Because it is my full time job. The difference is I know the employers pretty well and I don't have a blood-pressure-skyrocketing commute. Sure, the pay is pretty awful, but I've had jobs on the outside that weren't all the great in the check department.

Maybe it would have been easier to own if I had interviewed with my husband and a few other people. If I had prepared to discuss the ways in which I would enhance the organization and support my coworkers. If I had negotiated days off (really wish I had done that!). If I had waited to receive an acceptance email or call, welcoming me to the new position. Maybe then I would have mentally acknowledged this as a job. One that is recognized in the world, and one that I can claim at any event and in any group, without having to quickly say I also kept up my contracted clients. That I also volunteer. Yada, yada. My title could simply be Mom, and I would be okay.

My office/playroom (from Instagram...follow me here).

After much reflecting at onset of the new year, I truly can say I am proud of what my husband and I chose to do, and I am blessed we had the choice as an option. Sure, it's been unbelievably tough at times. But, all jobs have their challenges. Mine just has a way cuter boss. And better office. And stress-free commute.

So, even though I am adding more to my workload with a new job, it is really more for the mental sharpness, resume updates, personal passion, and bank account assistance reasons. I may not even mention it to every person who asks what I do (unless it helps the company to do so). Instead, I think I will say I started a small enterprise about 2 years ago, and for the past 15 months, I have been in charge of leading and shaping the primary product for future growth. While juggling day-to-day operations of the facility, balancing the budgets, vendor negotiations and ordering, and human resource functions. Or, I could just say I'm a mom.

From Lazy to Fancy:: Cupcake Edition

So it's a cold, gray Saturday. My husband and I have the itch to do some home-cookin'. My immediate attention turned to dessert (because it is important to plan and prepare, and maybe sample, that before anything else). Of course, I hopped on Pinterest, scoured my printed recipe pile (housed in an organized book), and searched the pantry. Then my 15 month old says, "cupcake". Clear as day. Graham heard it too. Either that or we both wanted cupcakes and she actually said something like "ccckkcckkaaa". Anyway, she said cupcake. Kid is a genius.

I needed a quick and affordable recipe. I found a strawberry box mix in the pantry and remembered finding ways to doctor those on Pinterest. God bless Pinterest. I found some Nutella (a pantry staple) and some strawberries I had to use in the fridge. The dream was starting to come together. A few hours later...

Voila.

Strawberry cupcakes with Nutella buttercream, garnished with a chocolate & Nutella dipped strawberry.

At the request of one very pregnant lady (c'mon baby!), I am sharing the recipe with you. But it's embarrassingly simple, so let's call it a technique. Here's the technique::

 I'm-Lazy-But-Wanna-Look-Fancy Cupcakes 

• 1 Strawberry box cake mix, prepared as follows: follow package instructions for temperature and egg amount. Double the amount for the oil, but use melted (and cooled) unsalted butter instead. Add 1 tsp to 1 T of vanilla, depending upon taste preference. Use milk instead of water.
•  
• Nutella buttercream: Buttercream is a very easy frosting if you have a stand mixer. And you should have one. Use one stick (1/2 cup) softened (room temp) unsalted butter. Add 1 T vanilla. Add about 2-3 T of milk. Add about 1 cup of powdered sugar. Start the mixer (using wire whisk attachment) on lowest setting to carefully incorporate powdered sugar/milk. As it starts to be more of a combined solid, increase the speed to medium, gradually. While mixing, add about 1/3 (or more) cup of Nutella, heated slightly in microwave (and slightly cooled) just to change consistency to a more pourable spread. Increase mixer speed to medium high and mix until frosting is light, creamy, and spreadable. If you need more moisture, add milk 1 T at a time (decreasing the mixer speed to add). If you need more solid, add powdered sugar 1/2 cup at a time (again decreasing the mixer speed while adding). You really can't mess this up. 
• 
  
• Frost cupcakes once cooled (duh), and then garnish with a dipped strawberry. 

  (Dip strawberries by melting 1/2 cup chocolate chips--any sweetness you prefer--and add about 3 T of nutella. Easy to do this is the microwave...30 seconds on, stir, and repeat until melted. Let the chocolate cool ever so slightly then dip strawberries. Place on baking sheet, lined with wax paper, and let harden in refrigerator. Once set, gobble all but a few down, put the rest on the cupcakes, and take a picture.) 

 And, now you too are fancy. Even when you're lazy. Oh, and Hayley was pleased with her dessert decision. Even though she didn't get to eat the frosting. Or the chocolate on the strawberry. If you have met Hayley, you know why I didn't think she needed any extra sugar. I did give her a piece of cupcake and a plain strawberry as a reward for a good idea.

Enjoy!

From One Year to the Next

Happy New Year!

From our New Year's celebration 2011. It's good to live in this state.

It really hasn't hit me that another year has come and gone. My time measurement has been off since I stopped working full-time. As in every day is a blur and I'd be just as surprised to learn that it is, in fact, Wednesday as it is 2014.

Anyway. I hope you had a fun and safe sendoff for 2013. I did a little reflecting (before falling asleep at 11:30--shameful, I know). 2013 was a year of change, for sure, but then, is there a year where things don't change? I haven't met one of those yet, and I'm not sure I would want to. Good or bad, change means things are moving forward. Even when we can't see the pieces falling together, things are shifting and arranging themselves in our lives to create a change. To that end, I want to explain why I hate resolutions.

Resolution. Meaning: firm decision to do or not to do something. In 28 years (gulp), here's what I've come to learn about being firm about a decision. Be prepared to change your mind. Things rarely go the way you would expect or plan them to happen. Unforseen events, new people, tragedies, windfalls, and interruptions arise in the middle of a plan. Some people focus on those disruptions and get stuck. And that is unfortunate.

Maybe you can tell by the setup of the blog. Or by its title. Or by the description. Or by the posts. But, I am all about transition. That includes transitioning my plans to fit the situation. I am, by no means, all-knowing. Despite what I may try to convince my husband. I can't predict the future, and I definitely have absolutely no idea what God has planned. If anyone does, please give me a call. I have questions. 

So, I don't believe in making resolutions because I know it will only set me up to feel as though I've failed myself when I don't meet some or all of the plans. Even though it's just life. I choose to not shoulder that kind of responsibility. Instead, I take a quick rearview glance at the previous year(s) and then think about where I am in life. And then I think about the things that I hope for. I don't even limit my hopes to the coming year. I take what I've learned, what I've gained and lost, and what I missed and open my mind and heart for the things I hope for in my life. 

This doesn't mean that I make wishes on stars. I know that those things I want for my life will all require effort, work, and commitment. But I also know I won't be in control, and I know if it's not a part of the Almighty's plan for my life, it probably won't work the way I think it should. Instead of making a list of resolutions (aka certainties I must achieve), I open my eyes for possibilities of what I want in my life. I also open my mind to the idea that new things may come along for me that I will never even know to hope for or expect. 

Here's the bottom line: this sort of free-falling isn't for everyone. There are personalities that hold firmly to the adage "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail," and they would call this a planning fail. For me, though, it is planning. It's planning to take risks, to know what I want and ask for it, to reach for things but be okay if it doesn't happen. It's planning for a person who absolutely hates strict diets, restrictions, deadlines, permanent endings, and, oh yeah, absolutes.

Here's what I hope for myself for 2014::

• I hope to spend less of my day stressing over getting things done despite a crazy toddler and more time with my crazy toddler.
• I hope to hike in the mountains in the fall. I've missed the color for a couple of years now.
• I hope to read more books and watch less TV. Maybe I should put the books on the TV screen...
• I hope to get back to some grown up stuff. Some work, some friend time, some hobbies. Maybe even some music that doesn't talk about marching ants, picnicking teddy bears, or twinkling stars.
• I hope to shore up my wardrobe. Actually, I'm not sure I used that term correctly. So I hope to learn that term and align my wardrobe with my current style (as opposed to the things I still have from college/pre-baby years). 
• I hope to learn more about my camera and take more photos.
• I hope to find a forever-ish house. At least one that I can envision growing into and loving.
• I hope to be an inspiration, even if only for Hayley, and set an example of a life well-led.  

And, I'll leave you with this::

Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.

--Oprah Winfrey

From Start to Finish:: Christmas Edition

I hope your Christmas was merry and warm. 

For someone who has always enjoyed the spirit and sights of this holiday, having a toddler in the house blew all previous Christmases out of the water. Her gasps, "ooohhh"s, and squeals pretty much made me forget what we ever did for Christmas before she was around. It must have been pretty dull. Here's a quick highlight reel:

Happy accident:: stuck at Nana's Christmas Eve (thanks, germs)

Round 2:: Christmas morning with Peaches, Pip, & the cousins

One toy. Two happy cousins.

Round 4 (#3 not pictured):: Christmas night. Home at last.

It's worth noting she was incredibly sick for all of these (and another Christmas not shown). And it was still the best Christmas ever. Such a trooper!

But, now Christmas is over. I know the holiday was last week, but we took our tree and decorations down this weekend (they typically are up until New Year's Day) so it is OVER. Except for the view out of my patio doors of an empty Christmas tree. It's a sad, lingering reminder of what was. Kind of like letters from an old relationship. Time to toss it to the curb (or in our case, pass it to a fishing friend who has other plans for it).

While it was here, we loved every minute of it. The smells, the lights, the yummy food...oh, and the presents. On the other hand, my second most favorite part about decorating for Christmas is cleaning up the decorations. It feels like a bigger (cleaner) house when it's all safely packed away. A mini "spring" cleaning. I think even Hayley appreciates the clean look. More room for her to adorn the space with new toys. By tomorrow, this clean space will once again show the aftermath of a toddler tornado. But, for today, it is a breath of fresh air.

From Presents to Stockings

Christmas is less than a week away.

Picture at The Grove Park, post Christmas Jam fun.

For some, that means it's time to scramble to complete the wrapping, the shopping, and the baking. For others, that means it's almost time to start shopping. That would be me and Graham, respectively. This year, for budget purposes (we have a toddler, enough said), we agreed to only do stockings. Well, I proposed the idea, and he sort of grunted. I assume that means he will have no recollection of that conversation come Christmas morning. But I, for one, stuck to the stockings-only policy. Here's the thing: stockings can actually be one of the best parts about gift selection. Trying to find fun, meaningful, and needful things that fit into a sock?! And, not to brag, but I do say I've done a pretty decent job. On the offchance he were to get a wild hair and read my blog, I won't post his stocking stuffers quite yet. Instead, I'll share the contents of Hayley's stocking and some wishful thinking (ahem) for my own stocking.

Snowmen at Christmas :: My mom started a tradition of a book on Christmas Eve for me as a child. I love it. It's something I always wanted to continue with my own children. So this is Hayley's second annual Christmas Eve book. I'm just so thrilled she adores books. I mean sits-in-her-crib-alone-slowly-flipping-pages adores. Makes my heart happy.

The Snowy Day :: So, of course I had to include a book in her stocking. This is a classic.

Christmas Ornament :: I also got an ornament every year. I am continuing that for Hayley, as well. I snagged a good sale on this one (in ornament form, not a mobile), and I love supporting small businesses (especially mommy-owned!).

B. Fun Keys :: She loves keys and has lost or outgrown her sets. So, to avoid handing mine over on a permanent basis, I thought these would be a fun introduction to the car toy bag.

Toddler Apron (similar, but waaaay more expensive here) :: I snagged a deal in the Target dollar spot (Cartwheel sometimes offers additional discounts on those items!). We had originally planned a hand-crafted play kitchen for this Christmas, but we since decided to hold off one more year. But, this apron will still be fun as she starts being more helpful in the kitchen. And I'm pleased with my $2.40 purchase. Sure, it may not be as cute, but it was a tenth of the price. I'll take it.

iPhone 4s case :: What?? I don't have an iPhone 4s, or any iPhone, for that matter. That's about to change. Graham gets the upgrade, and I adopt his castoff so I can ditch the ever-disappointing Android. I was solidly in the Android corner. Until I had a child and had no patience for lagging apps and cameras that miss EVERY good photo. Also, the little income I do get relies on me having a fast, dependable phone. Buh-bye, Droid.

Moccasins :: I have literally worn holes through the bottom of mine. I love them. But, I would be just as happy if the mister used the coupons and Cartwheel offers available to get these similar ones.

Brookside Dark Chocolate Pomegranate :: Yum. And readily available at stores.

Target gift card :: It seems odd to ask for this from the hubs, but when you don't really have income, and you spend a good portion of your life at Target buying necessities and toddler things, a little momma shopping would be welcome. Especially at after-Christmas sales!

A pedicure :: Do I really need to explain this one? (and I wouldn't mind repeating the day I had with these ladies)

A finished, edited copy of Hayley's one year video. Currently, this is still in pieces.

Anyone else love picking out stuffers for stockings almost more than buying presents?!

From My Favorite Tunes to Yours

Gosh, Christmas Eve is a week from today. How is that even possible? The good news is I'm nearly ready, though I have several post office trips to make this week. And a few last minute goodies (aren't there always last minute errands?) to grab, including one stop actually on Christmas Eve. Yikes. Fingers crossed Hayley will cooperate...

In the meantime, I thought a few fun, festive posts would be a good change from the serious and the stress. So, I'm sharing one of my sanity-saving secrets for the holidays: feel-good tunes. I love Christmas music. I'm always ready to give it up by Christmas, since we listen to it nonstop. But, it's also bittersweet to know I won't hear it again until after Thanksgiving. So here is a list of my favorites. You know, those songs that I crave and can't help but sing along to while decorating, wrapping, or recovering from the store crowd battles. Pipe in with some of yours. Happy Howling!
 

Thanks to Scribbles from Emily for free image

• Christmas in Dixie :: Alabama
• Tender Tennessee Christmas :: oddly, also Alabama
• All I Want for Christmas :: Mariah Carey
• Miss You Most at Christmas Time :: Mariah Carey (she might be one of my fave holiday singers)
• Baby, It's Cold Outside :: So many good versions (and some not so good) Leon Redbone + Zooey Deschanel (Elf) is great, and you can't go wrong with the classic Dean Martin
• It's a Marshmallow World :: Dean Martin
• Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) :: Mariah Carey (told you)
• A New York Christmas :: Rob Thomas
• O Holy Night :: As long as a person can sing, it's hard to find a bad version. Here's a poll on this http://popwatch.ew.com/2013/12/14/o-holy-night-best-version-christmas/
• Merry Christmas, Baby :: Ray Charles
• That Spirit of Christmas (featured in Christmas Vacation) :: Ray Charles
• Grown Up Christmas List :: I like Amy Grant's & Kelly Clarkson's versions
• Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays :: N Sync (don't judge)
• I'll Be Home for Christmas :: Oodles of versions, but Bing is original
• Someday at Christmas :: Stevie had the original, but Jackson 5 also did it justice. Justin Bieber can stop ruining Christmas songs anytime.

I love so many other songs during the season, but these are the ones I long for in July and can't stop singing between Thanksgiving and Christmas. If Graham hears All I Want for Christmas, or sees me watching Love Actually, one more time, he might hand me divorce papers for Christmas. I'm kidding (I hope).

As a special bonus, here's an oddball song you might not know. It's quirky, fun, and will absolutely invade your brain (and a funny video parody): Dominic, the Christmas Donkey. You're welcome.

Merry Christmas singing!

From Stressful to Joyful

Maybe it's the holidays (the most wonderful-ly stressful time of the year) or maybe it's just the anticipation of the coming new year. Perhaps it's just life, and I've simply taken more notice. In any case, anxiety seems to be all around me lately. Worry over events yet to happen in my own life. Concerns from friends over relationships and futures. Family struggles with new and ongoing issues. Even Sadie, our ever-happy 9 year old pup, seems to have some stress. (That may be from her recent experience that led to the cone of shame...sap in the fur.)

It, all of it, can feel overwhelming. It can feel hopeless. And it can certainly feel never-ending. But that's where hope can come in because the stress, the situation, the pain, the fears, the anxiety...it all does change, stop, or take a break. Hanging on until that happens, though, can be tough.

It seems we all have grateful and blessed hearts at Thanksgiving. We see the daily posts of things people are thankful for. Then Black Friday comes, and the magic spirit from the day before seems to quickly fade to...well, black. Stress kicks into high gear. The holiday season, which should be a source of joy and goodwill, is widely acknowledged as the peak of depression and anxiety. Maybe we need to continue our thankful posts through the holiday season. Maybe we need to reread what we wrote. Or maybe we just need a shift in perspective.

I had a dear friend recently give birth to a handsome little man. Her pregnancy and delivery served as a great reminder to me of the emotions I went through just over a year ago. The overpowering worry that plagued me on and off throughout pregnancy disappeared when I got to hold my little girl. Gratitude washed away all concern. Until we got home, and then the late night feedings reignited my Googling and, subsequently, my anxiety. The things that once seemed dire were no longer a part of my life, but their rapid exit left space for new concerns to set up shop. Being a new mom was such a duality of feelings: joy and helplessness. And perhaps that is what happens during this season. What got me through those early challenges is the same thing I've been doing to help myself and others who have been dealing with some discomfort this year: encouragement. Encouragement through listening, kind words, advice when appropriate, displays of love, and prayer. Encouragement to enhance the joy. Because enough joy can start to shine light on the shadows. Perhaps that is why one of the most recited verses of the season is from the angel sent to dispel worry, "Behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy".

So let me encourage any of you who may be experiencing a less than holly-jolly season. Direct your focus and energy on those people and things that enhance your joy. Remove those that remind you of the stress or the anxiety. In the immortal words of Clark W. Griswold, "I hope it enhances your holiday spirit". Whatever "it" may be for you.

From Thanksgiving to Christmas

Plans don't always rarely seem to work out when there is a kid involved. Thanksgiving was another casualty of that phenomenon. Hayley and I both got sick Monday morning before Thanksgiving and didn't recover in time to travel to either of our planned celebrations. So...we spent a very quiet day at home. Just the two of us (Graham had committed to making the only turkey product served at his mom's dinner). I actually didn't mind. Thanksgiving has always been a perk holiday for me. It's nice, but at the end of the day it's a meal and a time to reflect on being thankful. It's really something you can do anywhere. And that's exactly what we did.

She clapped along with the TV :)

We watched the parade. We napped. We made our own feast of chicken and rice, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, corn, and pumpkin cake. (Plus, we got to enjoy leftovers when Graham got home!) We played outside, took walks, and even spent time just being thankful. Hayley did this while eating. No surprises there. Don't get me wrong, this isn't how I want to spend every Thanksgiving. But it was a gentle reminder to go with the flow and to make the best of everything that comes along. Even if it's the flu/cold/cough/general icky-ness.

Finally, the germs seem to be leaving. Just in time to decorate for and celebrate the Christmas season! (I'm sure we'll see germs again soon, but I'm trying to savor the healthy days.) Against my better judgment, we are going to put up a tree this year (cue the No-No Patrol). We'll see how it goes...

 

 Keeping it simple: laughter

 

And letting a toddler go nuts in Christmas paper.

 

I tried to keep it simple this year. Very simple. The décor is minimal. The lights outside will be (they are not up yet...) few. The tree will be mostly lights since a lot of our ornaments are breakable and not toddler-friendly. Even my gift buying was kept small this year (although I need to stop shopping all the great sales!). It just feels like a good year to focus on the things that really matter. (Also, overboard equals overbudget.) Baking cookies, surprising the neighbors with goodies, participating in an Angel Tree drive, enjoying family, and making memories. It's astonishing how putting yourself in this mindset is so freeing. There's still plenty I wanted to do this year (pick out a tree with Hayley, create a few special gifts, do a Christmas photo shoot) that I didn't get to do. But, there is so much to enjoy, who cares??! Next year is another chance to try. But, for this year, I just want to enjoy the everyday moments of the season and reflect on the true source of our joy at Christmas. Love. Christ. Joy. Peace.

Side note, Graham has decided to teach Hayley how to throw the peace sign. It's adorable.

From Day 1 to 30

Happy Thanksgiving!

November :: Thankfulness. Everyone is riding the holiday wave, coming off of Halloween and heading into Christmas. So, somehow, Thanksgiving gets nearly a full month of focus. Not that I'm complaining. If it were up to me, I would stretch fall throughout the entire year. Maybe one month of spring and one of winter. But, pretty much just fall. Rather than trying to make myself write a Facebook post of thankfulness each day of the month, as is the trend, I thought I'd spare everyone's newsfeed space (and also, there's no way I would be able to keep that up every day) and just do one post dedicated to being thankful. A whole 30 days worth. Without further ado...

Day 1: I am thankful to be a child of God. It makes everything else I am thankful for possible.

Day 2: I am thankful for grace. Both holy and that of those I love. Because I am deeply flawed (anyone else?) and mess up sometimes a lot. It might be something small like dropping my phone on my child (you know, hypothetically) or something big like putting my selfish needs before that of a good friend and failing them in a time of need or forgetting to make prayer a priority. But, by grace, in all of these scenarios I am able to acknowledge the mistake, apologize, and try again. Grace is a wonderful thing, and I do hope it is something others see me extend to them.

Day 3: I am thankful for my little family. My husband, who is not only my friend and partner but my oh-so-needed gut check and our current provider. My baby girl who helps keep my ego in check. On a daily basis. Being a stay-home mom has narrowed my world view a little, and I am so thankful these two are my world. Even at their worst (which isn't often), they are still the best parts of my life. Love and cherish them both dearly. And Sadie. She's a good pup.

Day 4: I am thankful for my mom. She raised me, and that's reason enough to be grateful. But, she continually provides me with a great support system and friendship.

Day 5: I am thankful for my in-laws. It's not easy to incorporate yourself into someone else's family, and it's not easy to also incorporate them into yours. But, I have a pretty great group of people who have really adopted me into their lives.

Day 6: I am thankful for food. Don't judge me. I love and appreciate good food. That's part of why I married my husband. (not joking...)

Day 7: I am thankful for fall. It's football, leaves, cozy clothes, jeans, fires, cocoa, cider, pumpkin everything, baking, cool breezes, and beautiful.

Day 8: I am thankful for coffee and wine. They each have a job to do. And they do it well.

Day 9: I am thankful for the internet. Seriously, I am old enough to remember times when we didn't have it, but how did we function??!

Day 10: I am thankful for a home. It may not be the home I want forever, but I am humbled by having one and knowing there are so many who would love to be homeowners.

Day 11: I am thankful for small businesses. They keep the American dream alive, and they feed the middle class.

Day 12: I am thankful for cell phones. They annoy me, but they've also kept me sane, safe, and in touch.

Day 13: I am thankful for digital photography. I wouldn't be able to afford taking pictures with film. 200 files from a two hour stint at Halloween. Yep, that's me. Thank God for digital.

Day 14: I am thankful for stay-at-home moms. I so admire each woman's decision to do this. It's not soap operas and bon-bons.

Day 15: I am thankful for working moms. I so admire each woman's decision to do this. It's not easy.

Day 16: I am thankful for little ones sleeping through the night. (or at least putting themselves back to sleep)

Day 17: I am thankful for formula. I never thought we'd need or use it, but I am so appreciative that it was an option for us since breastfeeding was not.

Day 18: I am thankful for pizza. Not much else to say about this.

Day 19: I am thankful for music. It has so much power over me. I can use it to change, enhance, define, or ignore a mood. I wish I could contribute musically in life, but I can appreciate it.

Day 20: I am thankful for pillows. All three of mine. Graham would argue I should be thankful for less of them, but I say more is more.

Day 21: I am thankful for good friends. So many times I have learned the harshness of people, but I know I am blessed to have a few good people to call friends. I love each of you.

Day 22: I am thankful for TV and good books. There is such a value for things that entertain and/or distract us.

Day 23: I am thankful for education. I loved it (though I hate paying for it), and I am so grateful to live in a country where education is valued.

Day 24: I am thankful for clean sheets. Mmmm......

Day 25: I am thankful for blogs. They are a great environment for sharing personal experiences and opinions.

Day 26: I am thankful for chocolate. The fact that I was able to put it this far down the list shows great patience on my part.

Day 27: I am thankful for literacy. My life and knowledge base would suffer without the ability to read the wisdom and creativity of others or the ability to chronicle my thoughts and feelings.

Day 28: I am thankful for chocolate chip cookies. This is different than my appreciation of chocolate. There is something so therapeutic about baking cookies and passing them out to loved ones. 

Day 29: I am thankful for the holiday spirit. The collective feeling of warmth, giving, appreciation, excitement, joy, anticipation, love, and friendship is never stronger than the days leading up to Thanksgiving and Christmas.

And, finally, Day 30: I am thankful for the beautiful blue mountains that surround me (or are closeby). They are constant reminders of the beauty life offers and the promise of finding something precious and familiar in this crazy world. They let me know I have found my true home.



As a bonus, I'm also thankful for you, dear readers. However few of you there may be, I am grateful that you took a few minutes of your day to share in my gratitude. Would love to hear your reasons to be thankful!

From Party to Party

This summer and fall were filled with events. (I mentioned them here.)  I thought it would be fun to share some of the ideas I used, the results, and the stories from these events. I had a blast planning/hosting/attending but I am so glad to have some slower time (kidding, it's the holidays!!).
Note: my wonderful mom helped in some form or another with all of these events. Yay for moms! I also got great help from my mother-in-law for the first party on the list!

A Dear Friend's Wedding Reception (Following Destination Wedding)

"We don't need a reception." Yep, one of my very good friends uttered those words. I was unable to travel to attend the wedding. I am a romantic sap. And, I couldn't have been happier these two were tying the knot. So, of course, I decided that was an invitation for me to plan a reception for them back home after their destination wedding and honeymoon (yes, they got both!).

Of course, while I would have loved to plan a reception with an unlimited budget, I didn't really have that as an option. So, the challenge was to create a party that was big on celebration and love but small on cost. After much collaborating with other friends and family members, and oh-so-much Pinteresting, here's what the party looked like.

 

My cooperative husband did the big food items...Brunswick Stew, Barbecue, Baked Beans, and a keg in his homemade kegerator. The dessert table (in B&W above) was one of my favorite features. Candy + yummy sweets? Sign me up. And the couple's photos were so lovely, I had to use them as a major part of the décor. The venue was perfect for what we needed. Plenty of space for tables, food, sweets, gifts, and dancing. Plus, it overlooked a lake and was set back from the rest of the public area (which happened to be a park). I stayed within my budget and was able to repurposed MANY of the items for other events. Perfect. I had so much fun doing this, and I am so thrilled they let me be a part of their celebration. My only regret? I planned and planned...but I planned too much for myself to do night of to be able to break away for taking pics. Luckily, I had several amazing helpers who snatched the camera throughout the night. One of those helpers would have the favor returned at her baby shower...more in a minute.

Next Up: A Bachelorette Party in My Home State

 

Sometimes you know someone so long you've actually already planned future celebrations. Like a bachelorette party. The only problem? Timing. We've been friends for 20 years, and somehow the ideal party I'd envisioned for her a decade ago didn't seem appropriate now. We needed a sophisticated celebration that reflected who she is and what she enjoys. And I had to plan it several states away. So while I might have done something completely different, like host a grown up slumber party, if I lived in the state, I decided to throw a progressive bachelorette party. Only, rather than different homes, we traveled to different locations in the course of a day where people could come and go as they were able. And, it was a blast. Our agenda:

• Lunch at a quaint tea room (perfect kickoff...though the bride and I got drenched in a torrential rain on the way in. Ah, stories)
• Wine at a local winery. So relaxing and so easy.
• Spa time (mani/pedi) for the bride and I. A great way to take a break and still keep the celebration going.
• Check in to a hotel where we met up with the other bridesmaid to have a quick toast and change before heading off to...
• Dinner (at a super yummy pick of the bride's).

Post celebration, we headed back to the hotel and worked on last-minute wedding details. Easy enough to plan from far away and a great way to incorporate several fun elements throughout the day. It also helped work into different people's schedules so they could attend. Another fail on pictures, I'm afraid. But here are two great ones...



 

 

 

Next: Returning the Favor--A Baby Shower!!!

 

When someone does an incredible job throwing a party in your honor, the first thing you probably want to do is thank them. Next on my list: throw them a party in return. When one of my awesome friends threw me a perfect baby shower last year, I immediately started thinking of the day when I could return the favor. Luckily for me (okay, and them!), that day came sooner than expected when my friend told me they were expecting earlier this year. Yes!! A new baby and a baby shower were on their way. This friend had also helped with the wedding reception, so I knew I could count on the help of the new bride to help pull this off. In addition, another friend of the mommy-to-be co-hosted (and held the shower at her house) to also return the shower favor. We had so much fun putting this together! I was able to repurpose some of the items I had from the other events, as well as purchase some new ones to tailor the décor to the theme (which was a jungle/fun type of shower). Here's what it looked like:

Seriously, so much fun. And such a deserving momma-to-be (well, as I write this, she is momma-in the-making...). I can't wait to meet her little man!!


I had one more big event this year...my little's first birthday party. Partly because I might still be in denial and partly because this is already a freakishly long post, I am saving that for another day. But, I have committed to 7 prescheduled posts from now until Christmas, so stay tuned!